Undie Run is upon us, and the streets are buzzing.

The Uber Drivers of Orange County sent us this list and offered us 10% off our next ride to publish. We don’t agree with a lot of it, but here’s to selling out!

At the beginning of the Fall 2019 semester, an anonymous senior English minor told the Kumquat, “This is the semester I, Kim, will finally bang.”

Climate change isn’t the only thing making California hot (Sidenote: is having kids still ethical?)

This past month, as Pralle residents searched for a midterm study space, they were impeded time and time again by a terrifying phenomenon: the twelve-person freshman friend group.

Living 3.7 miles from campus can be rough, especially when your bae lives in The K.

Freshmen skate crew “The Wheely Wheely Good Skaters” is on the grind for an additional grimey grom to fill in for our boy, Dylan.

The Hashinger Basement Cucumber incident last year sparked a national conversation about fraternity hazing, and Chapman has been forced to tighten their regulations.

Chapman-approved wall adhesive and sticky tack were nowhere to be found in Kramer’s dorm, despite numerous confederate flags hung up on his walls.

Word is out that taking 40 rips from a flavored e-cigarette might just be unhealthy.

After rolling up his sleeves, Alan (as the students can now call him) told the class that he sometimes likes to joke around with his students, but all in good fun.

Put down the protein supplements, get the fuck off those ellipticals — your favorite excuse to eat basically ice cream is back and more accessible than ever.

Rising sophomore Aaron Carney is reportedly “very excited” to be condescending as fuck to his freshman friends this semester.