Welcome Welcome Welcome… to the Parking Lot Games, where the odds are never in your favor! Please note; your “free” parking passes will be no help to you, now that the rain has come.
“I lost three toes last week fighting off a Jeep for a spot,” says Brian Thomas, Peace Studies ‘25. “The bright side is I qualify for an ADA placard, which means I don’t have to wake up at 6 am and check the weather anymore.”
As Lastinger begins to flood, it's survival of the fittest. The District 1 & 2 tributes with the ability to comfortably ask “are you leaving?” cruise effortlessly into prime spaces on the first level while the rest are left to stumble through the asphalt jungle, avoiding eye contact, and contemplating if just crashing their car would be better than being late for the fifth time this week.
“I’m so fucking scared,” confesses sophomore Emma Wetzler, “I can’t tell if some random guy in his Ford Escape is following me for my parking spot or if I’m about to be the next episode of 60-Minutes. My roommate keeps telling me to buy an umbrella and walk, but like, who does that?”
