Freshmen skate crew “The Wheely Wheely Good Skaters” is on the grind for an additional grimey grom to fill in for our boy, Dylan. Despite already having one fully torn ACL, Dylan completed a near-record-breaking kickflip after a speedy hill bomb, but stumbled on the 200 foot frontside nosegrind and fully tore his second ACL. He is in no condish to participate for the next 2-15 weeks, which totally sucks balls. If you guys know Dylan, you know he’s next level and hella bummed right now.
Practice is every day at 4 PM in front of Starbucks in the piazza, #fuckbeckman, #fuckclass, #fuck. Requirements: You must own at least 6 different shades of green beanies (aka green beans), 2 pairs of Dickies and an eagerness to learn. We will provide: 4 shades of yellow beanies (banana hats), 1 bar of team soap and an issue with authority. Applications are due this Thursday as this weekend we have a competitive, non-friendly, skate sesh against our rivals “Ollie Ollie Oxen-Free” from Orange High School. Reminder: This is a PART TIME position. Once Dylan’s legs are good, you’re gone. You could never be Dylan.
