Emma was just trying to have a Happy Halloween, but after she was brutally name dropped in last month’s Kumquat issue, that became impossible. Despite there being 237 girls at Chapman named Emma, and 272,630 nationwide, Emma C. (Emma #16 out of 237) was certain that she was the one being made fun of.
“People kept texting me, like ‘omg is this about you??’ or ‘did you say this?’” said Emma C. Another Emma also went through a traumatic experience: “One of my friends tagged me in the Kumquat’s instagram post.” said Emma H. (Emma #154 out of 237)
In Emma’s defense, it’s been a tough year. Not only was every song on Taylor Swift’s New Album also about her, but she & her best friend are just like the leads in Booksmart.
The Emmas are not alone, Several Nicoles, Bretts, Chads, and Hannahs, are fed up with their name usage. 500 Chloes DMed The Kumquat last week, asking to use a name other than the most popular girl’s baby name of 1998.
The Kumquat cannot comment further on this matter, as we are currently being sued for libel by 47 different Brads, and things are likely to get even more complicated once Pike gets wind of the article about them.
