Class of 2020 let me hear you mute those motherf*ckin mics!
Read MoreHealth Update: Dodge Sophomore needs Artsy Undie Run pregame or She Will Combust
Sophomore Film Production major Lauren Dib is in critical condition.
Read MoreP-Safe Has Swords Now
“Up until now, we’ve relied on verbal intimidation to fight crime on campus, but now, with this pandemic we had no choice but to use swords.”
Read More13 Reasons Why I Deserve To Fuck Timothée Chalamet
I need this.
Read MoreStudents Look Forward To Spending Three Months at Home After Three Months at Home
That’s right, it’s summer, the only time of year where you can finally sit around the house and do nothing!
Read MoreAn Ode to Undie Run
Writing this was healing.
Read MoreThe Kumquat’s Guide to Sex
Whether you’re safe or not, you definitely should be having it!
Read MorePanther Village Residents Allowed To Stay Because Honestly Who Really Cares
One group of on-campus residents have stayed put
Read MoreFriend’s Coronavirus Podcast “Uninspired”
Senior Tommy Beckendorf’s new podcast is proof that just because you have time to make something, doesn’t mean you should.
Read MoreRA Struggles to Adjust Back to Lawless Home
Kaylee Jones is having a difficult time back home in San Jose after being stripped from her title of Pralle Resident Advisor.
Read MoreMom, come here, I need you take another thirst trap of me
Hey. Hey, Mom. Mama. My beautiful madre. Mommy!!! Come on, it’s time! It’s finally golden hour.
Read MoreRoomies Face Homoerotic Subtext
Quarantine with the girls has taken a yearnful turn at a local Dodge house.
Read MoreIt's raining? What the fuck?
Guys did you notice the insanity of what has been happening this weekend... it’s fucking RAINING?
Read MoreHow to Flirt in Zoom Class
Aggressively winking at your crush just won’t quite cut it.
Read MoreBlack Announcement
The Kumquat’s resident 1.6% back again.
Read MoreCalling All #GirlBosses, It’s Recruitment Season!
Oh my god, hey girl! Those boots are so cute!
Read More