Class of 2020 let me hear you mute those motherf*ckin mics!
Read MoreHealth Update: Dodge Sophomore needs Artsy Undie Run pregame or She Will Combust
Sophomore Film Production major Lauren Dib is in critical condition.
Read MoreP-Safe Has Swords Now
“Up until now, we’ve relied on verbal intimidation to fight crime on campus, but now, with this pandemic we had no choice but to use swords.”
Read More13 Reasons Why I Deserve To Fuck Timothée Chalamet
I need this.
Read MorePete the Panther Quarantining at Home in the Fucking JUNGLE
While many panthers struggle to adjust to quarantining at home, one notable Chapman figure lacks sympathy for students.
Read MoreStudents Look Forward To Spending Three Months at Home After Three Months at Home
That’s right, it’s summer, the only time of year where you can finally sit around the house and do nothing!
Read MoreAn Ode to Undie Run
Writing this was healing.
Read MoreThe Kumquat’s Guide to Sex
Whether you’re safe or not, you definitely should be having it!
Read MoreI Want a Baby?
Maybe my circadian rhythm is off, maybe it’s because I keep getting wine drunk at noon, or maybe the constant Little Caesars delivery is throwing my hormones askew.
Read MorePanther Village Residents Allowed To Stay Because Honestly Who Really Cares
One group of on-campus residents have stayed put
Read MoreFriend’s Coronavirus Podcast “Uninspired”
Senior Tommy Beckendorf’s new podcast is proof that just because you have time to make something, doesn’t mean you should.
Read MoreRA Struggles to Adjust Back to Lawless Home
Kaylee Jones is having a difficult time back home in San Jose after being stripped from her title of Pralle Resident Advisor.
Read MoreMom, come here, I need you take another thirst trap of me
Hey. Hey, Mom. Mama. My beautiful madre. Mommy!!! Come on, it’s time! It’s finally golden hour.
Read MoreRoomies Face Homoerotic Subtext
Quarantine with the girls has taken a yearnful turn at a local Dodge house.
Read MoreGreek Life Calls Coronavirus a Little Bitch
“I keep getting Facebook invites for frat parties and part of me is like, woah that’s so unsanitary but the other part of me wants to get really drunk and forget that any of this is happening to me”
Read MoreIt's raining? What the fuck?
Guys did you notice the insanity of what has been happening this weekend... it’s fucking RAINING?
Read MoreHow to Flirt in Zoom Class
Aggressively winking at your crush just won’t quite cut it.
Read MoreChapman Too Horny
Isolation isn’t treating the Chapman Community too kindly.
Read MoreThe world is ending, I should text my ex, right?
You know, I just have to make sure she’s feeling ok.
Read MoreWhat Was Left When I Went to Ralph’s
Spoiler Alert: It was definitely NOT toilet paper
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