Sophomore Film Production major Lauren Dib is in critical condition. “It’s been 70 days since my last Dodge party, and as Undie Run approaches, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” Dib shared. When we began to ask about her thoughts on the pressing global pandemic, she interrupted, near tears, “I just need to wear my bedazzled pink cowboy hat and take disposables again. I’m growing weaker day by day.” Shortly after, Dib called her doctor and begged for an appointment. Dr. Robert Naturman told us, “She is not experiencing a single medical issue right now. I am trying to help my patients who are truly struggling, also please stop interviewing me.” Dib mailed us an unopened box from a Fashion Nova lingerie haul, which was covered in blood reading, “If I’m not wearing lace underwear and a white button down shirt, I’ll die.” Dib has ended up turning to a “home remedy” of laying on the floor of her dark bedroom listening to the audio of the one year ago snap memories in her Target sports bra.
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