The Kumquat sat down with officers Matt Davidson and Kendall Kearnan to ask them how things are changing: “Up until now, we’ve relied on verbal intimidation to fight crime on campus, but now, with this pandemic we had no choice but to use swords. The consensus was unanimous, we had to do it like they did with The Black Plague in 1342.” said Davidson “Just look at the statistics! Ever since we’ve implemented Operation Sharp and Pointy, campus crimes have gone down 1,000%” added Kearnan “We knew we needed these ancient weapons of war to fight the real issues on campus, the ones that people refuse to talk about, lurking in frat parties and Economic majors dorms. The issues that are dividing not only Chapman, but the world as a whole: Dragons.”
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