Guys did you notice the insanity of what has been happening this weekend... it’s fucking RAINING?
Read MoreHow to Flirt in Zoom Class
Aggressively winking at your crush just won’t quite cut it.
Read MoreChapman Too Horny
Isolation isn’t treating the Chapman Community too kindly.
Read MoreThe world is ending, I should text my ex, right?
You know, I just have to make sure she’s feeling ok.
Read MoreWhat Was Left When I Went to Ralph’s
Spoiler Alert: It was definitely NOT toilet paper
Read MoreWhy I’ll allow myself to be penetrated by a Dodge King
It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m horny as FUCK.
Read MoreWhy is it so cold? And other questions the white writers have been thinking
Where does the wind come from?
Read MoreAn Open Letter to the AF Stairs
First off, your existence is chaos.
Read MoreRomantic Date Spots
Is there anything more romantic than fucking pandemonium?
Read MoreBlack Announcement
The Kumquat’s resident 1.6% back again.
Read MoreCalling All #GirlBosses, It’s Recruitment Season!
Oh my god, hey girl! Those boots are so cute!
Read MoreInterterm Course Catalog
Check out these newly offered interterm classes!
Read MoreSophomore Settles for Interterm Friend Group
Ah, Interterm. A magical time of year where lines are shorter, weeknights are freer, and everyone you actually wanted to see is inexplicably in London or The Philippines.
Read MoreOptimist piece of shit actually follows through on resolutions
As Chapman students ease into the new year, many of them ditch their New Year’s resolutions.
Read MoreSorry I'd Love to Hang Out, but Interterm has Destroyed Any Concept of Time
Hey, thanks for reaching out! I’d love to hang out this weekend but I don’t know what that is.
Read MoreFriend Studying Abroad Will Almost Certainly Be Forgotten
Lindsay Cain is worried about whether or not her friends will forget about her while she’s abroad, but she has nothing to worry about. They will.
Read MoreFreshman nervous for Undie Run due to enormous cock
Undie Run is upon us, and the streets are buzzing.
Read MoreLocal Uber drivers’ PSA
The Uber Drivers of Orange County sent us this list and offered us 10% off our next ride to publish. We don’t agree with a lot of it, but here’s to selling out!
Read MoreUh oh! Clock ticks for senior virgin
At the beginning of the Fall 2019 semester, an anonymous senior English minor told the Kumquat, “This is the semester I, Kim, will finally bang.”
Read MorePublic Safety officers to release shirtless calendar
Climate change isn’t the only thing making California hot (Sidenote: is having kids still ethical?)
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