There’s been some changes at the Kumquat HQ. The editors are always the hottest girls, the baddest boys, or the most malest feminists. Well, feel free to begrudgingly accept me as a new editor, an ANTI-EDITOR. Last week, I was sitting in my anti-room thinking about how the voices at the kumquat are a little too “pro.” I think it’s all the kumquat klout going to the editors' heads… so I’m here to provide some ridiculously hot takes to keep them grounded. First of all, I’m anti-writing. Second of all, I’m anti- anti- writing. Third of all, I’m currently writing. Now if you’re getting confused, listen to this. I’m anti-confusion.
This month, a freak joined me in the writer’s room… I'm the anti-editor, so I’m even more anti TWO editors, but here she is.
Hi I’m Skwunk. I saw an ad on Craigslist that the Kumquat was looking for a cool, new editor, and boy do I love Craigslist. One thing led to another, I stole the hearts of the entire staff with my charm and distinct-yet-pleasant odor… and here I am. I felt that the whole, “blank-blank” editor thing was getting pretty tired, so I decided to use my legal name. Skwunk. It’s like how Cher only goes by her first name, but my parents actually named me just Skwunk. I’m a little mischievous. I did recently steal the Margaret Thatcher bust from campus and replaced it with a replica, so please PLEASE don’t tell Psafe. Snitches get Skwunked. (you DON’T wanna find out what that means).
