Do Boys Masturbate?: Musings on Male Sexuality

Boys don’t…masturbate do they? Be honest with me. I know they don’t shit or piss but…do they masturbate? I just moved into Henley Hall and it’s my first time being surrounded by boys and I just assumed they didn’t have any gross bodily functions like that? I was raised on a farm by my moms and four sisters and you’d be hard pressed to find a day where we weren't constantly pissing, shitting, rubbing one out, farting, burping etc. but something about boys doing it is just…odd? Like what's the material benefit? You’re the breadwinner, what are you gaining from this? Like you jerked your dick to completion…that’s it? Unsettling. Smell a flower. Eat a corndog. Watch Ghostbusters (Boy and Girl version). Something about it seems…ungentlemanly like. Like leave it to the ladies, you’re a man. You don’t masturbate.