Graduating Senior Garrett Johnson did not think things through when he created his major, "Ambient Nature Sounds Podcasting with a Blue Whale and Spring Peeper Frog Emphasis." Johnson believes Ambient Nature Sound Podcasting with a Blue Whale and Spring Peeper Frog Emphasis, or ANSPBWSPFE for short, in hindsight, was too niche. "It turns out most of the working world doesn’t involve whales or frogs." He said. "I wish my academic advisor had told me that before. I’m such a dingus."
When asked for comment on Johnson's major, academic advisor Luis Taylor said, "It was a stupid and bad major. I just cash the checks. He can suck eggs for all I care." Despite Taylor's cavalier attitude, he assured Johnson there are many jobs he is qualified for in the real world. Of the many Taylor listed, the most likely of outcomes for Johnson in the workforce were Registry of Motor Vehicle worker, director of Res Life at Chapman, and motel shootout victim. Johnson is set to take the world head-on and is expected to pay off his student loans by the time a liberal arts degree has value again, an estimated N/A years from now.
