Don’t be fooled by Chloe Stricker’s pin that claims we have “nothing to lose but our chains”, as they were recently spotted at the worst chain of all: popular fast-casual “Mexican” (racist) restaurant conglomerate Chipotle, an anonymous source tells the Kumquat. Stricker, a junior Peace Studies major, passed by the woman-owned military surplus store, a minority person, and even Wells Fargo without dismantling the system—before entering the tyrannical eatery.

Stricker continued to grease the wheels of capitalism with the blood of the proletariat by purchasing a vegan sofritas burrito bowl before heading to their ‘Borders, Conflict, and Sovereignty’ class. Further investigation from our team of journalists unearthed that Stricker allegedly also has a job, and collects a paycheck on top of that—from her gay boss no less.

Stricker also asked my boyfriend to ‘please wash his dishes’ after he uses them in our house because he “doesn’t live here”, hammering the final nail in their coffin as a full-fledged landlord, apparently. Sad!