A recent study by LMU researchers reveals exposure to plastic drawers, the kind often used in dorm rooms as cheap and compact storage, causes chronic illness including but not limited to heart disease, eczema, migraine headaches, high blood pressure, cancer, arthritis, and cystic fibrosis. “These illnesses start when microplastics shaved off by the drawers’ sliding motion circulate in the air and enter the body,” researcher Rael Pearson explains. This means that no matter the origin, be it retail stores, yard sales, or panhellenic Facebook marketplaces, they are guaranteed to cause debilitating, incurable health issues that start immediately and get worse with long-term exposure.
Will Chapman do anything about this? It’s an open secret among donors that Slidecom, a multinational manufacturing corporation that oversees global production of plastic drawers, provides the funds for the majority of Chapman’s operations. Thus they have a stranglehold on the institution’s policies. Both Danielle Struppa and Slidecom CEO Silas Slider ignored our request for comment. It is therefore up to the student body to spread the word about this life saving discovery as Struppa and his cronies wallow in the pocket of Big Drawer.
