As Descartes once said, “sometimes you beef it”. During President Struppa’s annual Serious Business address to the board of trustees concerning serious business matters, Struppa accidentally referred to himself as “Principal Doody-head”. “To the board of trustees,” Struppa began, “I am Principal Doodyhead, and I’m wearing a great big diaper.” People began to murmur as it was clear Struppa was straying from the prepared remarks. When he was supposed to discuss the rising cost of tuition, Struppa instead said “It is sometimes difficult to wear a hat due to all of the doody on my head. I’ve tried many hats: a baseball cap, a top hat, a fedora.” Struppa’s foils continued in the section about graduation rates. “A backwards hat, a sideways hat, one of those flat brim hats.” At one point, an assistant murmured something in his ear. People began to think Struppa may get back on track until he announced “I’ve just been informed I referred to myself as Principal Doodyhead. It’s actually University President Doodyhead. Please show more respect in the future.” When an attendee pointed out that Struppa himself was the one to make the mistake, Struppa kicked him in the dick.
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