Last Friday night, at an (honestly kind of lame) sexy rodeo-clown themed “party”, a threatening knock was heard at the strike of 11:15. Occupant of the home and junior communications major, Kiki Marks, put on her soberest face to answer the door and was met with a very stern Jimmy Lice (43 and lives with his mother).
He berated Kiki for interrupting his 83 year-old mother’s slumber with a karaoke rendition of Shallow by Lady Gaga. “You doing some sort of BDSM thing?” Lice asked, referring to the lassos and assless chaps Kiki’s roommates purchased an hour before at Party City. “Let me in on your little orgy or I’ll file a noise complaint.” Faced with a real catch-22, the group of students decided the best option was to accommodate Jimmy and host a full-on bacchanal.
Secretly, Kiki was elated; this gave her the perfect excuse to hook-up with her long-lusted-after roommate without it being awkward. Plus, Jimmy Lice had his first kiss and butt-stuff all in one night! Just goes to show what can happen when we take police out of the equation and mediate issues as a community…neighbor-to-neighbor; mano-y-mano; hole-to-hole.
