Dear readers,
It has come time for me to say my final skwunk-utations. I will soon have to give this publication a sweet and sensual kiss goodbye as I enter my new, post-grad life as a CIA operative. That information is classified, but I’m telling you because I trust you. Also because I know that only 3 people read the editor’s letter: me, my mom, and our graphic designer whom we keep handcuffed to the radiator so they definitely won’t tell.
I will now answer one last ‘Dear Skwunk’:
Dear Skwunk,
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Also, did you have anything to do with that 2017 money laundering scheme in Mississippi, or was that a different Skwunk?
Great question. In 5 years, I see myself embroiled in controversy amidst the 2028 Presidential election. I’ll prepare you now that my past will get raked up. I am by no means a perfect person, but that would make me a perfect President. Had nothing to do with the 2012 money laundering scheme, but I’m sure my time in the CIA will be a point of contention. I promise, if elected, I will fix ALL water fountains and implement ‘Ice Cream Sandwich Friday’. Don’t forget to vote for me! #skwunk2028
See you then, pussy cats! Skwunk you later!
Love,
Skwunk
