Despite his hours of practicing in the mirror, nothing could’ve prepared Struppa for what was to come on Monday at precisely 9:47AM. While waving his hands dramatically and welcoming new students to Chapman University, he made the amateur mistake of opening up the discussion for questions. “Do you guys have a BOFA center?”, bespoke a meager voice from the crowd. Struppa cleared his throat, his AI ill-equipped to handle such input. “What is BOFA?” He inquired. “BOFA DEEZ NUTS!” replied the crowd in thundering unison. The stage shook as Struppa crumbled to his knees. He lifted his hands, a white flag of submission against the faces of a thousand Raftus and Duffer wannabes united by a singular front. “What has humanity become?!” He begged, tears streaming down his face. The heavens split and a voice from beyond declared: “Stranger Things is getting a musical!”. Struppa gasped as a force lifted him to his feet. He hovered onstage, empowered by the success of alumni and the inevitable rise in applications. “It’s set in Nunya!”, spoke the voice. Struppa narrowed his eyes. His lips quivered. “Where is Nunya?”.
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