“Do you have any Advil? No? Bummerrrrrrrrrr, my head hurts so much. I am NOT hungover, silly! I’m just so tired, actually. No, I WISH I had been doing homework. Seriously I WISH!!!! But somehow, I wound up at Paul’s triple-fisting a cigarette, a half-finished Corona I found on the pool table, and some townie’s vape. I know, taking a 10AM on a Friday was such a mistake! Especially because I hardly ever wake up in my own bed on Friday mornings (because of sex). Oh, you can see the hickeys on my neck? Embarrassing. I was running out of his place so fast I didn’t have time to cover them up! My feet hurt so much because the line at the D was sooo long. My therapist says I have a toxic, dependent relationship with the D because it’s the only time I ‘ever feel joy’ in my ‘shell of an existence’, but she’s definitely just boring. Anyway, wanna go out next week? What was your name again? Professor Anderson? Cool, pregame at mine.”
Featured
