Bahhh humbug. As the anti editor, I sat in passive resistance to the holiday season, audibly going “urghhhhuhhhhhhbooooo” whenever I saw anything red or green for the last three months.
Butttttt…. as the big(but non hierarchical) boss around town who no one believes is real, I think me and Saint Nicholas have a few things in common. He gives out presents to kids all around the world, and I’m a communist(probably? need to read up on it). He drives a sleigh powered by christmas magic(environmentally friendly), I drive a prius.
Historically, there have been two camps of thought when it comes to Santa Clause, usually divided between children and adults. This December, I choose to PROUDLY align myself with the third camp: adults who believe for exclusively contrarian reasons that Santa Claus is real. Even though he’s never stopped by my house, this year I wrote him a really nice(anti-mean) letter and got him Crumbl cookies, so I’m sure I’ll report back on December 26 with good news.
12/26 Update: No presents this year from Mr. Clause, BUT I did find a bunch of coal in my backyard yesterday morning so that’s pretty sick. Maybe next year he’ll give me the vibrator I asked for.
