Ok….it’s valentine’s season…I know you are all expecting my literally flawless relationship/dating/sex advice. But you know what, I have decided I am not saying anything. You guys don’t pay me for this. You don’t send me chocolates and flowers and say “Hot Girl Editor, thank you soooo much for convincing me it’s ok to cheat” or “Hot Girl Editor, I fucked my professor just like you said and now I have an A”. You don’t say ANY of that. I’m DONE. GONE. You know that movie Gone Girl? That’s about me.
Also I’m going to become celibate I just decided. No one is allowed in here. Fuck you guys for not appreciating me but not literally fuck you guys because I am not doing that anymore. I am a nun now. None of you care about me or listen or ask me anything about myself because if you did you would actually see that deep down I’m a Charlotte and not a Samantha.
Good luck with your love bullshit without me. None of you will ever smooch or smash or bang or boink ever again.
Xoxo,
Hot Girl Editor
