When Kerry and six of her Delta Gamma sissies decided to celebrate the start of spring break by renting a duffy boat in Newport, some may say they took Anchor Splash a little too far. Halfway through their trip around the harbor, one of Kerry’s sissies, Kyla, wanted a pic in the captain’s seat for her story. “She wanted us to take a Boomerang of her driving the boat, so she could caption it ‘I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW,” says Kerry, recalling the moment just before their spring break was ruined. As Kyla posed for the boomerang, her foot slipped, hitting the gas pedal, sending the girls straight into the open ocean.
Seventy two hours later, Kerry washed up on shore after paddling her way back with her Puff Bar XXL. She recounted the three, gruesome days she experienced on the boat. “After the sun went down, we just got hungry… so we...we...WE ATE JESSICA. Alright? She had the biggest boobs.”
The rest of the girls still have not been found, but the Harbor Patrol says that there have been several reports of people hearing haunting, female voices in the distance chanting, from what they can make out: “I’m a Delta Gam born, a Delta Gam bred, and when I die I’ll be Delta Gam dead.”
