Another student has fallen victim to the latest freshman obsession: YikYak. Business major and Fiji pledge, Samual Brown, has tried his best to avoid all the women telling him to download the app, but after being name-dropped he became too intrigued by all the yaking. “What I found was chilling,” Brown said, “I couldn’t believe my eyes, the amount of effort I put into wearing my suit and purple tie everyday and I get disrespected like this. What happened to the social hierarchy?”Brown has become obsessed with replying back to all these yaks, ‘You would never get a bid from Fiji anyways,’ ‘You would never be able to keep up with the sigma grindset,’ ‘I actually do know where the female clit is. Brown’s roommate Noah Anderson is worried. “I think what hurt him the most was that he was listed last place on the hottest Fiji pledges,” Anderson said, “I’m getting really concerned with the effects of this cyberbullying on his mental state, he hasn’t showered or loitered in front of Beckman recently.” Sources (some girl he met during O Week) tell us that Brown hasn’t been seen at the caf in the past few weeks and has been completely unresponsive on snap.
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