Due to the pandemic, nobody is having the Freshman year they imagined. And to make things worse for a specific group of Freshmen, there’s a big monster eating people in Henley Hall. “I was walking up the stairs one day and I see my best friend being swallowed whole by the most gargantuan beast you ever laid eyes on.” said Freshman Rachel Othon. Ugh, and we thought 2020 was bad.
Jackson Spiner was in the middle of a 3 hour lecture when the wi-fi in the dorm went out. “I was pissed, you know? It just speaks to how bad this year has been. And you know what speaks more to that? The fact that when I went to the study lounge, a 20 foot tall scaly furry abomination stuck its fangs into me.” Talk about the worst year ever!
We asked an RA who was in the process of being eaten his thoughts on the situation, but it was tough to make out much of anything he was saying. The monster did not respond to a request for comment. Even though students are excited to get vaccinated, the unfortunate truth is that there’s no vaccine for the Big Monster in Henley Hall. No vaccine at all.
