What Your Go-To Coffee Shop Says About You

  • Starbucks on campus: Freshman or desperate. 

  • Starbucks in Circle: Junior or townie. 

  • Provisions: Professor and/or virgin. 

  • Pandor: No matter how hard you try, this will not make you feel like you’re studying abroad, babe. 

  • Urth: You think it’s 2014 and you’re a daily vlogger? You gonna post The 1975 lyrics over a grainy pic of your matcha with boba? Relax. 

  • Philz: No comment.

  • Bodhi Leaf: You’re elusive, you have a glow about you, you brought a book with you, you’re making a big deal about it. You’re also a GPhi.

  • Contra: Oohhh your laptop is always so FUCKING charged isn’t it?!? You and your little perfect life, sitting next to shelves of precious little books. Give me a break. 

  • Tru Bru: What even is this? Where even is that? No.

  • Brot: BROT is for HUNGOVER, SINGLE WOMEN who NEED to GOSSIP over DELECTABLE TOAST right FUCKING now. 

  • Bagel Me: The Student Psychological Counseling Services number is (714) 997-6778.