Uhhhh, I’m kinda confused here. All the girls in Henley are talking about what dress they’re gonna wear for “Values Day” and how sad they’re gonna be if they don’t “get into” Delta Gamma. And they keep saying “recruitment.” Am I being bamboozled here? Everything they’re saying sounds like a lotta work, and I was just gonna go ahead and put my name down on, like, the mailing list for Alpha Phi… Honestly, they need me more than I need them. I’d be doing them a goddamn favor by signing up for their sorority.
They have way too many cool, hot girls in that organization. They NEED a crazy freakazoid to come spice things up, whether they know it or not. They need me to ruin the fucking vibe at Semi-Formal. They need me to do an upsetting, inhuman worm dance move on the stage at Skit. They need me to go to Heaven and Hell and steal the wallets out of the brothers’ pockets like a feisty little rascal. If I don’t, who will? Sororities, I’m not coming to your “rush” “events",” but you will be hearing from me, future sisters.
