To: Black Student Union
From: Chapman Professor
Subject: Ally Burnout
Dear Black Student Union Exec,
I recently saw your recent post on Instagram regarding Chapman apparently “not caring at all about BIPOC students and only pretending to care just to continue to scam tons of people out of thousands and thousands of dollars each year” That’s absolutely preposterous and very very absurd with no actual facts behind it if you ask me. Bunch of malarkey!
Quite frankly I am flabbergasted by the notion that I… that the university…. Are racist… WHAT? Apparently, we’re racist performative allies who are subservient in upholding and enabling white supremacy and hate on Chapman’s campus by not ever condemning these terrible acts. Lol I mean c’mon this is RIDICULOUS… do you even have all the facts?!?! Have you considered MY feelings? Do you even know anything???
Let me enlighten you. I have a PHD which means that I am a D-O-C-T-O-R which therefore means that I know everything, you know nothing and my DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!@!33$#. I also have a masters in education and philosophy from the renowned Liberty University, and because of my expertise in being such an intellectual human being in this wonderful world of academia, I just know that I am a scholar of activism and nobody, not even you, a bunch of UNGRATEFUL monkeys can tell me otherwise!!!!
I hope you realize what you have just done…….. You just lost me as an ally. Think about that for a minute. IM DONE. I QUIT!! FUCK YOU!! AND FUCK ALL YOUR “BLACK LIVES MATTER” BULLSHIT! You think you get to call ME out for my “problematic behavior”?? ME?? WOW. I bet you have NO IDEA that my best friend is B-L-A-C-K and has KINKY CURLS too so, he understands racism, which means by association I understand racism.
It's clear that my expertise on Black issues is not welcome here. Honestly none of you deserve me anyways. TUHH…...Good luck finding another activist who is going to help you out as much as I have in these past couple days. LOL you WON’T! Because guess what?? They don’t exist….. Because guess what??..... I am GOD and I KNOW that I am NOT in fact RACIST…. so just back off you sassy, loud, angry, aggressive females and try to be more like me….. A civilized, brilliant, magnetic ally dedicated to fighting for true reformative, transformative, majorative, menorahtive justice for all communities through peace, love and understanding.
-Yours truly,
Dr. I am not putting my name on this and if you release this in any way I will sue you.
