In an effort to further distance Dodge College from the concept of “school,” Chapman University is pleased to welcome its shiny new Panther, the giant fucking marquee blinding the MKS lobby.
Developed in Los Alamos, New Mexico by a team of morally gray electricians, Galloway’s Monster asks of students: would it really be worse if Chapman just burned their tuition money in a pit-fire?
“Originally, our plans were to offset the immense carbon emissions of The Beast with a beautiful Sycamore tree as the new centerpiece of the lobby,” says creator Victor Frank. “When we realized it would require a pay increase of several dollars for the school’s gardeners, we opted for plastic instead.”
The marquee proudly blasted 50 gigawatts of power 24/7, until it caused Orange County’s power grid to explode last night, killing five students and leaving dozens injured.
“The Chapman community mourns the loss of our best and brightest,” administration released in a statement. “We are working tirelessly to turn the marquee back on.”
