Hello professor __________,
I hope you're doing well today, and it was so funny seeing you at Laguna beach. But I have some terrible news…. Right after I saw you, I was diagnosed with a fatal disease, which will make it difficult for me to come to our class. I have also found that I'm congested. And also, it’s embarrassing to say, but I have No Bitches digestion. I've been shitting my ass for the past 2 hours since I've been rejected by 15 girls this week. If you're gonna drop my grade a whole letter, I can come to class and stay in the smelly Beckman bathroom while shitting and crying. But overall, I decided I’m not coming, and you're just going to have to deal with it… to be honest, I'm the victim here. How can you be so strict with attendance?..... I'm shitting…. You need to work on that. You are just jealous of me, so you make me come to your class every day. You're too sensitive, and I'm only telling you this cause I love you seriously. We had such a fun time at our last seminar
Anyways love you, babe,
See you never </3
Sincerely,
______________
