Son, come here. See this picture? Yeah, that’s right. That’s your old man back in 2020. Junior year. Man, did we have some crazy times back then. I’ll never forget those Friday nights with the boys, the 4 of us sitting in our living room alone, absolutely plastered off 2 Mango Carts questioning our existence and if things will ever get better. Man, I mean, if I could go back, I would in a heartbeat. This guy right here? That’s my buddy Jason. He would cry to Beach House every night in his room and sometimes didn’t come out for days at a time. What’d you say? What was my craziest night? Oh, it’s gotta be my 21st birthday. Yeah, the boys and I had a Zoom RAGER and I blacked out and woke up in my kitchen. I started the night in the LIVING ROOM. 

Girls? Well, son, don’t tell your mom, but your old man… he got around. I was matching with girls on Tinder left and right, only to pour my heart out to them on Facetime and have them ghost and block me. Yeah, we got wild and reckless, but we still kept grinding. Every time I logged onto my little computer class I was high out of my mind. Didn’t learn a single thing, but felt like I had to go due to the crushing guilt of paying private school tuition. Good times, man.