After Jerry Price tweeted out that he has “No Fenestra tramp stamp”, we took it upon ourselves to find out the truth for our readers, because we fucking care about you guys.

Upon further inspection of Dean Jerry Price’s lower back, The Kumquat staff has discovered hair, skin, and three moles of different shapes, sizes and colors, which we hope he gets checked out. However, there was no Fenestra tramp stamp.

The Kumquat would like to apologize to Dean Price. In interviews, the Dean revealed to us that he “would certainly like to get one,” but as of this publication, has yet to pull the trigger.

We extend our sincerest apology for our careless reporting and assure (pinky promise) our readers that The Kumquat from now on will only report the truth, and nothing but the truth, so help us God... so help us God.