Freshman Tyler Wilson recently began working as Struppa’s personal assistant. Wilson told The Kumquat what a typical day of working for Struppa entails.
“First, I warm him some grapefruit juice over the stove, in an old tin pot, while reciting the Chapman motto: ‘Christ and Church.’”
Next, Wilson reads quotes from several Bruce Willis movies. “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!’ is probably Struppa’s favorite.” After printing 1,000 photos of the cast of “Cheers,” the first portion of Wilson’s shift is done. Wilson then prints 2,000 pictures of the cast of “Frasier.” He’s instructed to cut them into teeny tiny pieces and burn them. “President Struppa says that ‘Frasier’ is a cheap rip off of ‘Cheers.’
The day ends when Wilson wheels in an ice sculpture of Loyola Marymount University president Timothy Snyder. “He just sits and watch it melt.” says Wilson “And when my shift starts again, 15 hours later, he’s still sitting there, staring at the puddle.”
Wilson expressed his liking for the job, however strange it may seem. “Sure, he talks about ‘Fraiser’ a lot, but at the end of the day I like to think what I do helps him run this university so smoothly.”
