Protein Packed Chickpea Pasta

I don’t need more protein. I have so much protein. From all my meats (currently frozen).

Flamin’-Hot Ruffles

Who the fuck smoked too much marijuana and thought this was a good idea? Whoever thought this was a good idea should be arrested. Just thinking of them makes me want to cry.

Meatless-Vegan Jerky

A fake product. This is probably worse for you than cigarettes.

Lemon Oreos

The moment one of these disgusting dog treats touches your tongue you age 60 years. 

Dasani

No comment.

Caramel M&Ms

Bitch, buy a Milky Way.

Edamame Pasta

Not real pasta. Slime incarnate. I’m angry now.

Kidney Beans

No thanks.

Cheerios 

Psych Cheerios fuckin rock. You know we’re starting the morning with a hearty breakfast. No cholesterol for me.

Muscle Milk 

Once again, I don’t need more muscles. I have so many muscles. From all my meats (again currently they are in the freezer).