My dear readers, there comes a time when we must all rise in solidarity and quit the very important satire magazines we write for. For me, your anti-editor, the time is now. Yes, I do lead this publication, and yes I make all executive decisions, but I still admit that the Kumquat is a horribly run magazine. So, in solidarity with our poor oppressed unpaid staff writers, I will be permanently leaving the publication for my next opportunity as a whore for the WGA. That’s right, I’m becoming a full-time picket liner. I even brainstormed ideas for cool signs like “WGA strongER” and “AI Can’t Write Fart Jokes.” 

As I look to my future on the picket lines, I hope to impart you all with the wisdom of a politically vague advocate for a cause(generic). Stand Up For What Is Right. And Don’t Trust The Media At Chapman, even The Kumquat. Fight The Power, even if you don’t really know who the power is. Just guess and then start yelling. 

In solidarity, 

Your Anti-Editor