In a futile attempt to bolster football game attendance, Chapman brought in a real panther which promptly escaped and wreaked havoc in the stands, injuring all 7 attendees. Before its recapture, the panther was able to bite President Struppa and take the limbs of several players. While many are upset with this flagrant disregard for athlete safety, the football team has published a reassuring statement: “We're no strangers to losing games, so what’s an arm?”

Since the accident, students have noticed changes in their president’s behavior, like running around on all fours, or climbing the Chapman rock wall in a record breaking 0.7 seconds. In addition to this there are missing student reports every full moon, and eerily enough, all of these disappearances happened at the same time, during Struppa’s supposed “Italian class.”

Sightings of this alleged “werepanther” on campus have caused P-Safe to create an elite Anti-Panther strike team that roams campus with a large net, silver bullets, and several parking tickets. P-Safe reports: “While we have not seen much success in action, we have managed to throw the net on all on-campus panther statues and shoot Pete the Panther 3 times.”