Twas Hallows Eve. I went to Spirit Halloween and purchased a "Promiscuous Witch” costume. The party started at 9:00pm, so I arrived at precisely 11:27 pm. I stumbled into the Firehouse as the lukewarm Tito’s from a plastic water bottle slammed into my liver.
I wobbled onto the slimy dance floor and began to wave my shitty plastic wand to the beat of “I Just Want to Rock”. Somehow, the rhythmic swaying of my wand had summoned the spirit of the rapper, Lil Uzi. At first, the crowd screamed in delight, believing that the real Lil Uzi had graced us with their presence. As the drunkards realized Lil Uzi’s lack of material form, the crowd began to scream in horror.
I frantically waved my wand once again, and his spirit dissipated into the frat mist. As the wasted Beta pledges angrily approached me, I desperately snapped my wand at them, and turned them all into tiny little frogs. Long story short, I am not permitted within 1000 feet of any Beta Residence.
