With Halloweekend approaching and guys at their absolute creepiest, we wanted to compile a list of ways to get that weirdo the fuck away from you. None of these will probably work but hey babe, we care about you <3

• Learn basic Italian and bring up how protective your dad is to make him infer that you belong to a mafia family who could easily kill him. 

• Kick really hard. 

• Come prepared by eating a meal heavy in beans earlier in the night (preferably from the caf) and really just lay one on him fart wise. 

• Start talking about either Glee or Devon Lee Carlson or both. These are men’s least favorite things. 

• Wear a wig to the party, escape to the bathroom with the girlies when he starts following you around, and take it off only to reveal a completely different wig that he won’t recognize you in underneath. You will have to repeat this every time it looks like he sees you in the crowd, so make sure you come prepared with at least five layers of wig on. 

• Start drama. Drama is for girls and he will get bored and leave you alone.

• Have a little stomping on his toes and then running away moment. 

• Go feral. Whatever that means to you.