Happy Thanksgiving! No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

It’s Thanksgiving time again. Or, in other words, it’s time for all of my extended family members to ask me if I have a boyfriend. Well, guess what, the answer is still no. And even if I did have a boyfriend, I can guarantee that he would not be more interesting to talk about than me. Have you met the guys that go to Chapman? My response to this boyfriend question is consistently, yearly, met with some sort of sympathy, sadness, or shock. And then THAT’S IT! No further questions. Well, guess what! Little do you people know, I just recently won the Nobel Peace Prize. Right after I discovered the cure for cancer and landed a plane full of 200 passengers safely on a lake. Yeah, that’s right. I also invented a new language, wrote a new encyclopedia with it, and sold it to Elon Musk. Now I have a guaranteed Twitter check mark. But just to answer your question, no I do not have a boyfriend. Sorry. Thanks for asking me something about myself, I guess.