The Kumquat

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Business student kisses statue of Reagan every day for good luck

Keith Ledger, sophomore Business student, recently revealed to The Kumquat reporters his secret good luck charm.

Every day while penny boarding to Beckman, Keith hops off the sweet board for a sec to plant a kiss on the juicy metallic lips of the bust of America’s 40th President. Keith claims that Reagan’s lips give him enough confidence to play “devil’s advocate” in discussions about race and feminism.

While Reagan caused irreparable damage to the gay community during the AIDS epidemic, Ledger claims that he also “taught me to be a proud American, so it’s chill”.

When asked about why he kisses the statue instead of rubbing its nose, a common lucky statue trope, he just repeated “No Homo!” 36 times as he faded into a nearby bush.