The Kumquat’s Official Christmas List
As you shop for loved ones (and for yourself) this holiday season, here are some of our writer’s must haves to be on the lookout for!
A pair of new, sensible shoes
Dildo replica of Pete Davidson’s schlong
Thick wool socks for those chilly evenings
Some sort of contraption that is not actually a finger up the butt, but feels like it
A good book to curl up with
You are really missing the feeling of intimacy–of human touch. You are looking for anything to fill the void that is eating away at your insides every moment of every day you are alive. No sex toy or device will ever be able to fill that. You are alone.
A warm vanilla sugar candle :)