For senior sociology major Sophia Mattson, living in New York City has been a life-long dream That’s why this Spring, Sophia is excited to announce she will finally take the risk and move into her own $3000 one bedroom apartment in Bushwick. “I cannot wait to fulfill my destiny as a barista in New York City. I just know that within a few weeks I’ll get scouted for acting or club girling or something. Everyone has to live in New York at some point in their 20’s, and I’m excited to go from the boring girl next door to hot girl in the apartment next door.” 

Sophia is planning on moving on June 1, though her friends have expressed concern about her life in the Big Apple to our reporters. “She hates noises, smells, and anyone who disagrees with her. One time she smoked a cigarette then walked around telling everyone at Paul’s that she smelled ‘poor.’ But she can definitely afford it, so I guess there’s that,” Brinly Loster’22 and current New Yorker shared with us. 

** Update: Sophia toured her apartment and decided to move to Austin instead. When we asked why, she simply stated “gross.”