The Filling Station:

Is there anything more romantic than fucking pandemonium? Well welcome to The Filling Station, cupid. In this constantly full three-star hellhole, you can look over your belgian waffle and watch the person you love eat a shitty wrap next to an ineffective heat lamp. Congrats.

FISH Interfaith Center:

FISH is an acronym. It stands for Fuck It. Sloppy & Horny.

Improv Inc Show:

After you suggest dildo, everyone’s gonna laugh at your epic joke, and your hot sexy date will totally want to smooch. 

Brot:

Where is it? I don’t know. What do they have? Like toast or something(?) But if you’re asking out a sorority girl for Valentine’s day, there’s a 87% chance she became obsessed with Brot some time in the last two months, at least its not Philz.