I took my last three this morning and I already feel it fading. How the hell am I gonna take my stats midterm??

My roommate Xander promised me he’d save me some of his, but the fucker sold all his extra ones to dumb kinesiology majors. How am I supposed to get all my work done AND get shlammered at date party this weekend? I’m sure I can find someone who has at LEAST 10mg. I don’t think they’d give it to me if I begged at CVS. I tried snorting the chlorox cleaning wipes my mom left me at the beginning of the year, but all I got was a moist ass nose.

Maybe Greg from BUS100 has some?? I remember he mentioned it during his business plan pitch. In the meantime... What can I do? 5-hour energy? Red bull? Maybe I should just grow up and do some coke.

If you’re reading this and you have a few to spare, leave them in the trash can behind Demille. You know the one.