The Kumquat

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From the Editor's Desk

Wazzup dear readers!!

Skwunk here. Hope your summer was finger-lickin’ good. Mine sure was. Not in a sex way, though. I wish I could tell you all about my summer, but unfortunately, legally speaking, I am not allowed. Let’s just say hypothetically Skwunk spent some time in Europa, along with every college-aged man and woman in America, was recruited as a spy for the CIA, and helped bust a huge drug trafficking network in Ibitha. Besides that, I’ve just been bummin’ it around Orange. I’ve picked up a new hobby, actually. Every morning at 8am, I set up my lawn chair and smoke a cigar with those guys outside of Starbucks. Just as good as meditating. 

Freshman? Hello? Can you hear me? I’ve got some advice for you! First meal, you gotta walk up to the biggest guy in the Caf and sucker punch him right in the face. Kick him in the nutz for good measure. That is the only way to gain any respect around here. 

Ok, skwunk ya later. Luvs ya!!!

Xoxo, 

Dr. Skwunk DDS