For the past few days, and the foreseeable future, I have been the tragic (though beautiful) victim of a cyber bullying attack.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for my friends studying abroad. Like I get it, you want to share a photo of you in front of some old-as-shit castle and some half-assed “it’s ok here” caption, but do you have to Tweet stuff like “being abroad is finally feeling real!” when you know I’ve been dissociative for the past three months, Christie?!

And yeah, I’m going to like the pictures because I’m not a monster, but last week Instagram had the audacity to ask me to follow a hashtag for “study abroad”? My FBI agent has been prone to microaggressions in the past, but never such blatant hate.

These pictures, the videos, the half-hearted “I miss you’s”. It’s hard to face, but let’s start with the basics: they don’t miss me, and it’s not just “ok” there, it’s fucking awesome. It would just be so much nicer if they kept it to themselves. And please, stop wearing such magnificent coats.