With the recent announcement that all production has been halted until February 19th due to COVID restrictions, Dodge majors are finally facing what they knew, deep down, all along: going to film school was a terrible idea. 

“It didn’t really hit me before, while we were on campus. Maybe I was just starstruck by my film studies professor, Matthew Arkin, son of two-time Spirit Award nominee Alan Arkin”, said film production major Braden Joe. “Maybe I was too busy getting off on telling people my major during GE classes… but halfway through converting my senior thesis into a ‘narrative podcast’ for my graduate portfolio, I started to realize I am so not getting a job.”

Students like Joe are combing through their bodies of work in the face of three semesters’ worth of cancelled projects, forced to try and cut a reel from visual storytelling projects they got a B- on. 

“Anne Beatts told me my film was [redacted for the sensitivity of our readers], but it’s kinda all I’ve got.” said Senior TWP Major Trey Makishima. “If the post-Covid economy has no use for a surrealist dark dramedy short-form series following a tragic romance between two creatives living in Culver City, I will die with no money. I have no other marketable skills”