As students and faculty at Chapman settle in to enjoy another Valentine’s Day, one staff member is still hard at work. For Chlamydia, this is just about the busiest time of year.

“You wouldn’t believe how many hours I put in on Valentine’s Day. It’s like clockwork,” Chlamydia said. He went on to describe his unsanitary and distasteful job in great detail.

“I’ve gotten to know a great deal of the class of 2022. I’d say a quarter of the grade is familiar with my work.”

One particular fact about his job stuck out to The Kumquat. “I’ll tell ya, you wouldn’t believe the things people do in Jerry Price’s office when he’s not there. Wowza.” For Chlamydia, Valentine’s Day is just another day in the office. And as for many of the students on Valentine’s Day, it’s just another day in Jerry Price’s office.

With Chlamydia hard at work this year, Chapman students are sure to be itching for an exciting February 14th.