There’s a new editor in town and he’s your worst fucking nightmare. You all know Hot Girl Editor and Male Feminist Editor. Well get ready for me: Bad Boy Editor. I’m a demon. I have a leather jacket. And I wear it. It’s fucking 80 degrees outside? I’m wearing it. And yeah you guessed it, I’m shaking things up around here. 

Here are the changes I pledge to make: We’re gonna say fuck way more. It’s gonna be sick. Communications majors, I feel, have gotten off way too easy around here, under my leadership we WILL make them feel shitty about their “talking” degrees. Conversely, I think we’ve been too harsh on the dodge kids. They rock. We will now only say nice things about Dodge kids in our issues. Big one: How am I supposed to get laid from being on the Kumquat when nobody knows I’m on the Kumquat? We are no longer anonymous. Finally, no more Greek life content. I’m over it.

Any questions? Fuck you.